Sickly Waiter
Episode Number: 449 In this episode, Craig talks about being sick and how he tries to bury his true feelings under a vast landfill of lies. thumb|300px|right Youtube Description Join the Fiesta Challenge and win an iPod touch: http://www.facebook.com/fordfiesta?v=... See me interviewed live here: http://tinyurl.com/4ml8uya 1122 Central Ave., Wilmette You can order the Wheezy Shoe now! Go here: http://tweakfootwear.com MY BAND TOURS IN MARCH AND NEW ALBUM SOON! BAND WEBSITE: http://www.driftlessponyclub.com VOTE FOR YOUR CITY ON EVENTFUL: http://tinyurl.com/2b2845a DFTBA PAGE: http://dftba.com/dpc BAND YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/sambonejr WHEEZY WARDROBE: http://wheezywaiter.spreadshirt.com EU STORE: http://wheezywaiter.spreadshirt.net Follow me: http://twitter.com/wheezywaiter Alternate Channel: http://youtube.com/wheezynews Thanks for the wink: http://youtube.com/superandomfrog Transcript choir[[Carpet Choir], Craig slides in from the left] Hey Beardlovers, It’s the Wheezy Waiter Saturday spectacular! I’m recovering from a sickness I’ve had for the past two days, and I’m really low of energy, which is unlike the way I usually am, which makes it spectacular? Snores Waiter intro[[Intro]] snoring A bunch of you are probably already commenting “Wheezy Waiter’s wearing glasses??? OMG OMG OMG my life is changed.” These aren’t new glasses, I normally wear contacts, just didn’t feel like putting on glasses today - contacts. Spectacular! And no, I’m not quiet clone or sick clone or glasses clone. It’s just me, and I’m sick. asleep, snores the background, a clone[[Nameless clone] that is sweeping the floorClone chores notices Craig asleep] Clone: Hey! Wake up! Craig: And I’m glad I’m not a clone. Clones are stupid. I hate them. clone cries, runs off screen Craig: Oh! There was a clone there? To clone: I’m sorry clone, I really didn’t mean… to say the truth about how I feel about you while you were here. You see? This is yet another example of why I bury my true feelings under a vast landfill of lies. “Hey Craig, what do you think of my new hair?” Loooooove iiiiiit. “I just bought some new shoes. What do you think?” Those are the best shoes “I just got a new shirt. Like it?” I LIKE it like it. “You mean you want to go out with it?” Well um, maybe one date. See if we have enough stuff in common, I just met it… “I’ve been working tirelessly for months on this-“ Oh my god I love it “I haven’t even told you what it is yet” Yeah. It’s that awesome. “Your lies make me feel good.” The truth will set you free, but lies will help keep you safe in prison. captions[[Self quoting]] Craig with a Wig has been sick right along with me. Craig with a Wig: I’ve been sick for two days. And I hate days. And being. deeply He’s Cragity Craig, Craig with a Wig! with a Wig smiles ding! Ah Craig with a Wig, such a breath of stale air. Sniffs I think the coffee’sCoffee done. Weakly I love it when the coffee’s done. I’m gonna fatigue my way to the coffee. gets up and tries to make his way to the kitchen, but sits down again before getting there. Sighs I could really use some coffee to get to the coffee right now. This chair is so heavy… Snores A girl winks while doing a handstandWinks Wheezy Waiter video-game outro musicOutro Hello again. Never made it to the coffee. But that’s fine. Everything’s just fine. up Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies So you may have seen that Ford commercial I did where I basically made a Ford Fiesta from scratch and came up with a bunch of features. Ford has asked that I come up with another feature and I could use your help. There’s a link in the doobly-doo where you can join the Fiesta Challenge and win an iPod Touch. There’s also a video over there featuring pre-sick Craig in all of his high energy glory. up Truth, truth, truth, truth, truth And astounding beauty up Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies One more thing I want to tell you, I’m gonna be interviewed live on Wednesday in a Chicago suburb, Wilmette. At the Wilmette Theatre, why do you suppose they called it that? Local public television superstar Ben Hollis is interviewing me, info in the doobly-do. Now I’m going to go get a lot more rest and avoid any unhealthy or obscene behavior. up Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies Characters Wheezywaiter Nameless clone Wink Wink submitted by http://youtube.com/superandomfrog Theme references Category:Episodes